Saturday, February 16, 2013

A Good Alternative to Cannibalism

Note: The staff at "DIARRHEA FALCON" does NOT condone the act of cannibalism.
I'm not sure if you knew this, but cannibalism is illegal. Fortunately for all the cannibals out there reading this, there are other ways to satisfy your urges that don't involve killing human beings which again, is highly illegal and morally reprehensible. Instead of eating a real person why not try purchasing a used yet realistic looking human corpse prop from a Hollywood makeup company then fill it with raw beef and/or pork, maybe venison. If you can't afford any of the more realistic dummies, but you have bad vision you can always get a department store mannequin, hollow that out, fill it with raw animal meat then take your glasses or contacts out and eat. The same effect should be achieved.

Maybe to enhance the mood you can play audio files of a person screaming in agonizing pain if that helps. It won't be exactly the same, but it doesn't have to be. It should feel real enough and the yearning you feel for the realism that's missing can be squelched by the part inside of you that doesn't really want to kill people and eat them. By satisfying that small part of your subconscious, maybe that will be enough to keep you from eating a real living person ever again. Then again, maybe not...

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