Sunday, February 17, 2013
Do You Lean To The Left or Right When You Fart?
What could we learn from which direction someone leans when they rip one? What I have found is that perhaps they're subconsciously revealing their political beliefs. What else could possibly dictate which way you lean during a fart? There are nearly no physical factors that would affect this as there is no tangible division in the human anus. It's all one piece, there is no east or west coast. The decision has to be linked to something much deeper that is always on one's mind and that very well might be politics.
So the next time you're out with someone new and you see your date lean half way off the chair with a pained look on their face, take notice of which side they're tilting toward. If it's to their left, they're most likely a liberal and if it's more toward their right, they're a conservative. If they don't lean at all and just fart with both cheeks pressed to the chair then they're one of those tricky independents and you have to watch out, that means they're highly complex. And if they somehow accidentally shart and have to leave dinner then they're likely incontinent. Either way you'll be able to tell a lot about a person by the small things they do. So keep your eyes open and your nostrils closed!